A year and a half ago, I left the corporate office and transitioned to my home office. After I was warned that most people fail when working from home, I went ahead and dropped six back-to-back record months. Because, fuck you. I left a lot behind when leaving the office. No more pretending I care about my coworkers' lunch, weekend, kids, or really anything they talk about. No more having to explain to people that I am not at work to make friends (yes, I directly told a former coworker this). No more holding my breath until I nearly die to avoid the smell of my manager's breath. One can only talk about dental care so much. Complete idiot, I might add. I don't miss the loud as fuck people. I don't miss my basement office nor do I miss the stomps of people above. I don't miss the whiners, losers, gossipers, or idiots. Oh, and the haul. I don't miss commuting. Or getting dressed up (or dressed at all really). I am grateful I get to spend the extra 2.5 hours a day doing other things. Not sleeping of course because I have a baby.
The coworkers of the past have been replaced with a coworker of the future. This puts a whole new spin on a career in which phone conversations are important. Sorry my son is making fart noises, it has nothing to do with your credit. Oh, that shriek? That's just my son discovering his own voice, I am not murdering small children. His timing is truly impeccable. Working with him vs. "regular" coworkers is a bit different. My previous coworkers never shit in my office. Not that I know of at least. They never climbed under my desk or up my chair. They never grabbed a box of business cards and threw them all over the floor. They've also never pulled my hair or stuck their fingers in my mouth.
I tried and tried to get my son's first word to be "amortize," but he opted for "mama." I know, boring. He has definitely picked up on some sales techniques. His persistence to have milk in the night is unmatched and typically results in a win for Team David (and Team Mom because I need some fucking sleep). He doesn't gossip much and sticks to the basics when communicating. I appreciate his keep it simple attitude as efficiency is key in my daily juggling act. He does spit on my face from time to time and of course cries if he doesn't get his way. The latter is not too different from the corporate office in which I came. To be completely honest, I am kind of jealous of his actions. I mean, who hasn't had a coworker in which they wished they could do something like rip their glasses off their face, throw them on the ground, and just laugh?
Working with a baby is definitely a challenge although it is much less challenging than working with an office full of children. I do wipe an ass every few hours, go unbathed for the biggest part of the day, and look like I am far from employed. My clients can't see me though and I figure they aren't hiring me for my appearance anyways. I am truly blessed to get to see my son all day, while having a career I love. Although I get the shits, I also get the giggles.